HERE TODAY, GONE TOMORROW

HERE TODAY, GONE TOMORROW

(This story is written by Lim Poh Keng,a friend of Zest Zipper. It is a rehash of the original story ‘Sudden Departure of a Friend’ by Zest Zipper. It is revised with the intention of making the original story more dramatic and philosophical.
The writer would like to dedicate this story to the late Mr.Xiao Chai Chin.)

 WHEN age catches up with us, one by one our comrades would leave us for the Yellow Springs (黄泉,huang-quan ). To lament is out of the question as Time hovers above us with impunity as we all have to fall into its deadly grasp. Not too long ago Time has claimed its ‘latest victim’. When my buddy, Kim Boon, broke the news of the passing away of our dear friend, Chai Chin, it was nothing short of expecting the unexpected! However, Kim Boon’s dreadful tidings were yet to be verified and he requested me to see to it whether it was true or otherwise. That whole night I did not sleep a wink as the urgency of the matter was spinning in my mind! I could not make myself to believe that Chai Chin was no more with us!

ON the next morning, the first task to be put into action was to inquire at the coffee shop from the char-koay-teow vendor, in order to extract from him the truth of Chai Chin’s fate! “Yes!” he blurted out-the confirmation of my worst confounded fears- Chai Chin had truly kicked the bucket, with a massive heart attack on the way to the hospital. I suddenly felt a chill running down my spine as if I was as cold as Chai Chin’s corpse itself. The setting of Xiao Chai Chin’s (萧财庆) sun shocked several of his classmates as well. It was all too sudden for all of us to swallow and be choked by this terrible news!

AUGUST 9, 2013 was a fateful date for me and Chai Chin. It would turn out to be our final encounter in this lifetime. I dropped in at his stall for breakfast. Who could have expected that it would become the last rite for him to serve me for the very first and last time his white curry mee! If there were any consolation at all, it would be at least I was lucky enough to have tasted his white curry mee- even just this once and for all time.  Small consolation that! Likewise, many of his classmates were left disconsolated at his passing.

AS a matter of fact, Chai Chin had phoned me up several times telling me of his inclination to sell white curry mee at a coffee shop here in good, old Bukit Mertajam(BM). Frying noodles for umpteen years had lost its zing for him. It was high time to move on and embark on a new venture.  It struck him that selling white curry mee would open up new vistas in his business. After a thorough and meticulous survey of the curry mee enterprise around town among the various vendors, he reached the confident conclusion that his curry mee would be the cream of the crop, if not one of the best in BM!

As a passing jest, I tendered the proposition that he displayed his business banner outside the coffee shop to publicize his specialty of white curry mee bearing the following catchlines:

                          ‘Why Carry Me?

                       Try Carry Me.

                       You’ll Carry Me Home!’

The last line turned out to be a premonition, now that I see its darker meaning! “You’ll Carry Me Home!” suggested a funeral procession whereby the deceased was sent to his everlasting resting place! O what have I done? However, at that point in time when my suggestion was tendered, Chai Chin responded favorably as he believed it would advance in his new venture. But on second thoughts mayhap he was jesting with me.

AMONG our circle of friends was my classmate, Seng Kwang. Whenever he returned from Sabah to BM, I would gather him and Chai Chin around for a reunion at the coffee shop to while away the evening with small talk as we threesome were really close chums notably during Primary Five at school. We would rally around to share a fag, each one taking his turn for a few puffs. We exemplified the adage of “Boys will be boys!” during those innocent bygone days.

Chai Chin was also a brilliant story teller, and he would regale us with his engaging tales. Many of his narration set us roaring with laughter so much so that we were assailed with stomach aches!

One such incident is worth accounting here.

CHAI Chin spotted a conspicuous mole atop his right shoulder. This was interpreted as being burdened with family responsibility. Consequently, his friends advised him by way of coaxing, to have it promptly removed.  Eventually, Chai Chin paid a visit to the fortune teller to get rid of his inauspicious blemish. It so happened that the fortune teller was busily absorbed with a client when Chai Chin presented his problem to him. However, in a jocular vein, the fortune teller counseled him in the Teochew dialect: “Sang Kar Chun Tik, Toa Miang Ta Kea!” ( 双脚伸直，就不用擔家！). Literally, this is paraphrased as: once you have stretched out your legs, you are no more carrying the burden of your family responsibility, which means: upon death one is free from all responsibility. However, Chai Chin missed the point by the mile. So he literally took a seat to stretch out his legs upon it, and sat patiently waiting for his turn to have a consultation with the fortune teller, and to get his mole disposed thereafter. When the latter had finished with his client, he was taken by surprise and hilarity to notice Chai Chin displaying his yogic posture with outstretched legs! In a fit of exasperation, he let out a yell at Chai Chin: “Tambai Kia!”(Stupid Oaf!) for misunderstanding his earlier injunction. However, when the truth dawned upon him, Chai Chin burst out in rollicking laughter!

BACK TO THE PRESENT.  Now that Chai Chin ‘had stretched out his legs at last!’, the necessity of removing the luckless mole from his shoulder is no more relevant to his well-being.

Life and death, tears and laughter, permanence and change….., ultimately death would spell the end for all of us miserable mortals… for  life is impermanent but death is undeniable, unavoidable, and unforeseeable – it can come at any time when you least expected it!

Not seeing Chai Chin for only just a month was his life cut in twain so suddenly leaving both his dear folks and friends alike in limbo, scarcely saying a word of farewell to any of them. We, mortals all, will take the same road as Chai Chin one day when it will all become evidently clear that everything is

                  HERE TODAY, GONE TOMORROW.

MAY Chai Chin – zaijian (再见) Goodbye to him – attain an auspicious rebirth – and also rest in peace. Amen.

老友真的走了！

老友真的走了！

日前友人打电话要我去证实另一位友人是否已经往生了。第二天早上我到茶餐室去询问，被证实了我的老同学萧财庆，已在一月前早上心脏病突发送院途中不幸往生了。

老友真的走了！

我最后一次见他是在八月九号早上。那天我和家人到他的档口吃白加里面。在这之前财庆曾数次向我反映他不想炒粿条了，他想要改卖加里面。他希望我能试食他一手调制的加里面。他信誓旦旦说他的加里面可以在大山脚镇上和排名数一数二的 加里面档互较高下。那天我所吃到的加里面刚好是我老友第一次也是他最后一次为我准备的面食。

回想起来，我、财庆和承光这三人帮曾经是童年的玩伴。有一阵子，在小学五年级那年，放学后我会去高渊老巴刹街找他们。我和承光会耐心地等待财庆帮忙他的舅父准备晚上开档必备的炒粿條食材后才能和我们一起出去玩。我们三人之间彼此曾经有一些心照不宣的秘密。

最近几年，每当承光从沙巴来到大山脚时，我会尽量安排他在晚间和财庆一起在加啡店'挑灯夜谈'。

财庆会毫无保留地细述他的往事。他能以很诚恳`很生动和很优默的口气描述他以往的生活片段，让我们听了捧腹大笑。

话说当年财庆结婚后，为了家计不惜一天做两份工。白天他在Suzuki电单车工厂当维修员。晚上则在一家餐厅帮助。他的朋友见他这么辛苦擔家，建议他将他肩膀上的痣除掉，或许这会让他转运，从此以后可以不必那么辛苦得工作。

财庆欣然接受朋友的建议，去镇上找个算命佬点痣。当时那位算命佬正忙着为另一个顾客看相。他随口对财庆说： “双脚伸直，就不用擔家了！”

财庆当时会错意，以为算命佬要他先伸直双脚，然后才会为他点痣。

财庆在客厅里的一张沙发上坐下，并且将他的双脚向前伸直，等待算命佬为他点痣。

等到算命佬送走了顾客，转身看见财庆还坐在客厅里伸直双脚，气得大骂他：“笨蛋！”

如今，财庆已伸直脚，他再也不需要找算命佬来为他点痣了。

愿我们的老友一路好走！

愿他早登极楽世界！

Sudden Departure of a Friend

Sudden Departure of a Friend

Only a few days ago, my friend, Kim Boon, phoned me up to inform me that our friend, Chai Chin, had passed away but he was unable to ascertain the authenticity of the news so he wanted me to check it out.

Next morning I went to the coffee shop to verify the news with a char- koay- teow vendor. He confirmed that Chai Chin had died due to heart attack. He died on the way to the hospital.

It is indeed pitiful to know that my friend, Xiao Chai Chin (萧财庆), had bought a one-way ticket to the other world. Many of his classmates were shocked to learn of his sudden demise.

My last and final encounter with the late Chai Chin was on the morning of August 9, 2013. I went to his stall for breakfast. He prepared for me a bowl of white curry mee which was to be the first and also the final bowl that he would ever serve to me. Before that he had phoned me up several times to tell me that he would be selling white curry mee at a coffee shop in Bukit Mertajam. According to him, he was weary of frying noodles for the past few years and he yearned for a change. He thought that this time around selling white curry mee would open up a new chapter in his business. He claimed that he had made a thorough market survey of the curry mee sold by different vendors in the town and that he was confident that his curry mee would be "one of the best” in Bukit Mertajam.

Jokingly, I suggested to him to put up a banner outside the coffee shop to promote his white curry mee with the following slogan:

'Why Carry Me?
Try Carry Me!
You'll Carry Me Home!'

Chai Chin thought it sounded great and he believed that it could boost his sales of a ‘why carry me' business. On second thought maybe he was kidding with me then.

Whenever another of my classmates, Seng Kwang, came over to Bukit Mertajam from Sabah, I would arrange for him to meet up with Chai Chin in the evening at a coffee shop for a tea-chat as the three of us were once quite closed to one another especially during our Primary Five year. At that time we used to rally together after school to take puffs at a cigarette that was shared among us.

Chai Chin had many vivid stories to tell us and he was indeed a very good narrator. Quite often he would keep us amused with his interesting stories until our stomachs ached.

One incident was quite dramatic.

As Chai Chin had a mole on his right shoulder, his friends were coaxing him to remove it so that he would not have to be burdened with his family responsibility.

He went straight to a fortune teller in the town to have the mole removed. At that time the fortune teller was busily attending to a client. He casually remarked to Chai Chin in the Teochew dialect, "Sang Kar Chun Tik ,Toa Miang Ta Kea!" (双脚伸直，就不用擔家!)  Literally, the fortune teller was telling Chai Chin that once his two legs are stretched out (that is, he has died), automatically he would not have to be burdened with his family responsibility.

Chai Chin didn't get the message. Instead, he went to find a seat in the room to stretch out his legs horizontally waiting for his turn to have the mole removed from his shoulder. While waiting for his turn, Chai Chin was wondering why he had to stretch his legs before he could have his mole removed.

The fortune teller, after attending to  his client, turned around and was surprised to see Chai Chin still sitting in the room in 'a Yoga posture' with stretched legs.

Angrily, he shouted at Chai Chin,"Tambai Kia !" (Meaning: Stupid Fellow!)

Now that the late Chai Chin ‘had stretched out his legs', he need not have to see a fortune teller to have the mole removed from his shoulder any more.  

Life is impermanent while death is a certainty. For just over a month I haven't seen Chai Chin, when suddenly was he in such a hurry to leave his dear folks and friends without even saying “Good-bye!”

May he rest in peace!

May he be reborn in a higher plane of existence!

 

 

Face to Face with the Long Arm of the Law

Face to Face with the Long Arm of the Law

(Disclaimer: This is a fictitious story. Any resemblance of this story with the real-life people and events is only a coincidence. The author bears no responsibility to any individual who claims to be part and parcel of the story.)

There was an old guy who goes by the name of Winson Pok.

He liked to take every available situation to his advantage so much so that his circle of friends dwindled year by the year into an exclusive group of only a few friends. Only those who could tolerate his behaviour of being a ‘kiasu’ (the fear of losing) would remain as his friends.

Concerned friends of his were worried that the day would come when not a single soul would like to befriend him if he wouldn't change his behaviour. But Winson couldn't care less. Instead, he would argue his points as if he was presenting a sure-win case in a courtroom like another 'Karpal Singh'.

He said that all the faults were not his as his late father was the one to be blamed for giving him his name. The name by itself had transformed his character into becoming a hard-core kiasu personality, as he would not be submitted easily to failures. He would persist to be a winner as he would still remember the motto of his school, ‘Accomplish or Do Not Begin’.

Being a Singaporean by birth with inherent kiasu culture, his father wanted his son to be an all-time winner at all costs in whatever field he set his foot upon. That was the reason why he was named Winson. As an obedient and filial son he had to fulfil and uphold the wishes and aspirations of his late father.

Winson's kiasu behaviour was reflected in every aspect of his everyday life. Even in the act of driving, he could not forsake this bad attitude. He couldn't tolerate others overtaking him even though his car was an old junk of more than twenty years. He had no patience to queue up in a single file waiting to cross a traffic lights junction. More often than not he would overtake the queue from behind to cross the junction.

Friends had always cautioned him not to commit such an offence but he did not take heed as he believed that his lucky stars would always be on his side.

It is illustrated in the Chinese adage that, “if one frequents a mountainous forest, one would be likely to encounter a tiger.” (上得山多终遇虎) Likewise to break traffic regulations once too often would one be caught one day.

This exactly was what happened to Winson.

One morning he was required to drive his wife to Penang for a shopping trip. On the way, to keep himself occupied, and to kill away the time as well, he started chanting the Chinese sutras like the Great Compassionate Mantra, the Heart Sutra and the Amitabha Sutra.

In the evening at around 4 pm, Winson drove back from Penang. By the time he reached the traffic junction near the Juru Autocity, there was a long queue of traffic. Once again, Winson switched on his kiasu mode. He would not want to queue up.

As soon as he saw the green light appear, he immediately dashed his car forward from behind to overtake the queue in order to go across the junction.

This time luck was not with Winson. Winson Pok was really pok-kai! [ pok-kai, 扑街, means unlucky in the Cantonese dialect] Two traffic policemen were already waiting by the roadside after the junction. One of them signalled Winson to stop his car.

The policeman then came up to Winson and accosted him,"Potong Q?!"

Reluctantly, Winson produced his driving licences; one licence had a photograph attached to it including his personal details while the other one displayed the expiry date of the licence.

After inspecting the documents, yet the policeman asked Winson to produce his identity card.

Having gone through the process of inspection, the policeman returned the documents with an unanticipated question,"Pesara apa?"

Winson was surprised to hear the unexpected question but he was quick enough to respond,"Pesara guru."

Having heard that answer, the policeman let Winson off without issuing him a compound fine for the traffic offence.

Later on, Winson would learn that an error he had made saved him from being slammed with a compound fine. In fact, he had mistakenly produced his pension card instead as one of his driving licences.

From this incident, Winson had learnt his lesson. In future, he would not take the risk of overtaking queues because he resolved to be a law-abiding citizen for the rest of his life. He was aware that he could only be lucky some of the time but not all the time.

As for Winson, a question mark was still dangling at the corner of his mind. He was still wondering whether the luck he had had that evening had anything to do with his chanting of the Sutras on that morning. He would never know the answer. Neither would anybody else.

 

 

The Demise of a Sports Club

The Demise of a Sports Club

Disclaimer:

This is just a story. The writer holds no responsibility for any resemblance of this story with any real life occurrence.

The Foothill Sports Club changed its management last December. It was bought over by a cash-rich building developer. The members of the club were worried that with the demise of the club, the fate of the club and its members were in the hands of the new management. Members were worried that the club would not survive long as there was a rumour that the developer intended to build a condominium on the present premises of the club and the club would either be dissolved in premature death or it would be relocated elsewhere. The members were helpless because the by-laws of the club were formulated in a biased manner in favour of the management of the club. The members were like  mincemeat on the chopping block.( 砧板上的肉 ,Zhen Ban Shang De Rou)

 

 They could not do anything but to abide by the decision of the new management to increase their monthly subscription by 50% beginning from the month of July this year. The drastic hike of the subscription did not reflect the corresponding upgrading of the club facilities since the new management holds the fort. In fact most of the members were complaining that the swimming pool of the club was poorly maintained. The bottom of the pool was always mucky and the chlorine content in the pool water was higher than the permissible standard.

The members in general felt that the fee increase was too high as compared to other similar clubs in the region.

Mr Henry Ng, an outspoken member of the club, took the initiative to get the members to sign a petition urging the management to reduce the quantum of increase in the monthly subscription, a portion of the petition reads:

“We wish to express our concern about the inflated rate of the monthly subscription of club members, from RM 63.60 to RM95.40, an increase of 50%.  We are well aware that with the increase in monthly subscription, our club members would be paying the highest monthly sum in this region, as compared to RM50 in the Safira Club of Seberang Jaya and RM 20 in the Kulim Chinese Recreation Club.

The inflated hike of the monthly subscription of the club is certainly not commensurate with the current facilities provided by the management as compared with other similar clubs in the region. Moreover, most of the members only join the club to use the swimming facilities. They seldom make use of other facilities of the club.

Of course, we do not object to the increase of the monthly subscription as we understand that no enterprise would involve in a business that is losing money. What we do not accede to is the quantum of increase as proposed by the management unless the management can convince the members that with such an increase of the monthly fee the members would enjoy value added facilities both in terms of quality and quantity.”

Other individuals also wrote in separate letters of appeal to the management; a typical one has this to say:

“I disagree with  your increase of 50% in subscription. Any justifiable increase should be 10 - 15% only.

I hope you would consider my appeal favourably as the drastic increase by you may cause many members to terminate payment of their subscription or even discontinue their membership…...”

But, unfortunately, all the complaints and letters of appeal had fallen upon deaf ears as the management took an indifferent attitude to all the feedback as it was holding the trump card as entitled by the agreement and the by-laws of the club. The management had no worries at all about the retention quota of the club members. It would be only too happy to see that all the members quit the club, the sooner the better, so that the club would be closed immediately without having to compensate its members a single cent. Once the club is closed, a condominium will be constructed on its premises which would help the developer to generate a more lucrative income.

This story vividly illustrates that: ‘Money dictates terms and conditions.’

Gomoku- The game of ‘divide and rule’

Gomoku- The game of ‘divide and rule’

For quite a long time I avoided playing computer game as I know fully well that if I were to indulge in it, I would somehow get addicted  to the game and it would become a sheer waste of time and energy.

However, in recent months I was tempted  to play the game of Gomoku on an iPad and from then onwards I couldn't stop playing the game for a single day.

Playing the game of Gomoku with the computer as the opponent is just like a child playing with an adult. Most of the time I couldn't beat the computer. Like a kid, I have to contemplate hard before I make a cautious and calculated move whereas for the computer, it reacts spontaneously like a genius as if it can anticipate every move that I have made. To lose to a computer for scores of times really frustrates me and it has  agitated me to the verge of the eruption of emotion that every time I loss the game I would curse at the computer as the "celaka punya orang" in order to defuse my unwarranted vexation.

On a positive note, the more I lose the game to the computer, the more I wanted to play in order to challenge it just like the famous inventor Edison who had  continued to try out his experiment for more than 700 times with repeated failures before he could invent the electric bulb. I believe that if I keep on playing the game consistently and persistently, one day I might emerge as ‘the seemingly invincible Tyson’  on the chessboard.

The rule of the game of Gomoku is simple.  Whoever manages to be the first one to place five beads in a row will be the winner. The strategy employed by each player is to try to divide and disperse the beads of his opponent so that the opponent would not have the chance to consolidate his beads to form a straight line of five beads in a row.

This strategy is very useful. It is extensively and skilfully practised in the political and military field.  The British and Japanese imperial armies had successfully employed it to divide and rule our country during the pre Merdeka years. They had swimmingly planted fear and mistrust in the mind of the Malays by instilling their hatred on the Chinese in the contention that most of  the Chinese peasants  were backing the struggle of the Anti Colonial Army which would ultimately reign the country. As a result of this sort of instigation, race riots broke out in a number of rural and semi rural areas of  the country during the colonial occupation like  wildfire spreading over the prairie.

The ghost of 'divide and rule'  is still haunting our country as certain irresponsible politicians still think that it is a marketable commodity  to pursue their political objectives. They would use the issues of race and religion as a means to achieve their selfish aims.

Successfully applying the strategy of ‘divide and rule’ in the game of Gomoku is surely a winning formula. But, if it is used in politics without restraint, it would bring a disastrous and irreparable damage to a country of multiple races as it is like pouring oil into a flame. This strategy of ‘divide and rule’  is like a river: it could carry a raft along, or it could capsize it as exemplified by the  Chinese adage, ‘水能载舟，亦能覆舟’[Shui Neng Zai Zhou, Yi Neng Fu Zhou]

上山遇虎

            有一位老头子名叫赢胜，洋名人称Winson（又要Win又要胜）。 他为人贪小便宜。凡事只要赢，不要输。每次当朋友们要他检讨他这劣根性时，他总是不想正面回应，干脆把责任推给他已故的老爸。他说他老爸是新加坡人，有该国一般人怕输的心态，所以替他这独生子取个稳操胜券的名字，赢胜。赢胜 说他是被这盛名所累。友人听了也无可奈何，因为他死去的老爸是无從跟他的不肖子辩解。

嬴胜怕输的习性可以直接反映在他驾车的态度上。他喜欢驾车与他人斗快` 斗狠。

每次在交叉路口等红绿灯时他的车不会顺序排队等。他总是喜欢从旁插队而过。朋友们经常告诫他不可违反交通规律。他总是充耳不闻，还沾沾自喜，觉得自己很有成就感。

俗语说：'上得山多终遇虎'。终于，有一天他踢到铁板了。

某天早上，赢胜开车载老婆去槟岛购物。

途中赢胜一时兴起，随口破天荒背诵了一遍大悲咒、心经和阿弥陀经。

下午回家途中，经过柔府汽车城(Juru Autocity)那段路的交叉路口时，再次故伎重施，从旁插队窜过交叉路口。谁知被在路旁守候的两名交通警察拦截。

其中一名交警走前来说：“Potong Q?!"

赢胜自知 '孙悟空逃不出如来神掌'，只好乖乖交出两张驾照文件;一张附有照片而另一张则有注明驾照的有效期限。

接着交警再向赢胜索取登记检查。随后他把所有的文件交还给赢胜，脱口一问:“Pesara apa?"

赢胜给交警莫非其妙的一问，连忙回答:“Pesara guru."

交警听了，放了赢胜一马，让他逃出生天，不用荷包失血。

原来赢胜搞了一个大乌龙，他错将他的退休卡当作驾照交给交警看。

错有错着！或许是因为赢胜早上在车上诵经而获得佛菩萨加被。

这故事告诉我们千万不要以身试法。一个人不可能时常走运。还是要踏踏实实地奉公守法才是正道。