吃桌子(jiak tok)
Eat Table

两个不同貫籍的友人在谈论着彼此之间不同的飲食习惯。
Two friends of two different dialects were discussing their diversified eating habits.

客家A: “凡是四只脚背部朝天的东西我们都吃，除了桌子例外。”
Hakka A: " Whatever thing under the sun with four legs and its back facing the sky is the food on our dinner table. The only exception is table that we don't eat. "

潮州B: "这样说来，你们就比不上我们了。每次我要去宴会时我都会对他人说我要去‘jiak tok'(吃桌子)”。
Teochew B: " In that case, you Hakka fellows can't  beat us the  Teochew fellows. Every time before we attend a wedding dinner, we would proudly announce to the world that we'll be going to 'jiak tok'(eat table). "

从摸乳罩谈起

今早在巴杀遇见一件事情值得大家去深思和探讨。
一位卖乳罩的小贩大声地向一位卖猪腸粉的男士呛声挑战:“你敢不敢摸我的乳罩？敢的话我会大声喊。”
卖猪肠粉小贩犹豫不决，最后离开现场，不敢接受挑战。
我了解卖猪肠粉小贩的担心和困惑。
如果卖猪肠粉小贩真的去摸乳罩， 万一卖乳罩的高喊某某人摸女人乳让全巴杀的人知道，那么卖猪肠粉小贩就会感到颜面全失。他得花更多的时间去向巴杀的每一个人一一澄清。

一切唯心造。

反过来说，如果我们仔细去分析，一件乳罩严格说来只是一块布料。难道摸一块布或捏它也会造成大家的困扰吗？如果我们将乳罩的功能转换成抹桌布，那么摸一块抹桌布的人也算是色情狂吗？
讲归讲，做归做。敢讲的也未必敢做。毕竟逆向思维总是斗不过顺向的主流思考。总而言之，男士们避免在公共场所触摸乳罩以免衡生不必要的麻烦。

Sa Kou Lak!(潮语)
( Three Sixty !)
♢♢♢♢♢♢♢

在菜市场，小贩和顾客以潮语对活。
顾客：“我买的几颗中国蒜和两块软豆干一共要付多少钱？”
小贩：“沙扣辣!”(潮语：三块六！)
顾客：我是问你要多少钱，你却说我的衣服脱掉了！”
(三块六和衣服脱的潮语音声几乎相似)

A  short exchange of words between a customer and a vegetable vendor in Teochew dialect was going on at the morning local market.

The customer bought two pieces of 'tau gua' and some leeks and he  asked  the vendor for the total amount he had to pay.
The vendor replied, " Sa Kuo Lak!"
 ( In Teochew dialect it means  "three dollars sixty cents!"  Incidentally, this  pronunciation is quite similar to 'trousers falling off' )
Hearing this, the customer was not happy and he  replied, " I politely asked you for the amount, but you told me that my trousers came off. What's the nonsense!"

客家人讲英语？

                            Sit

吃

有一位客家贵妇养了一只聪明伶俐的名犬。
好像现代一般时尚的中上入息的人们会让他们的孩子讲英语一般，这贵妇也想让她的狗多听多种语言；这包括英语。
她要她狗儿坐静静，她就会叫它 “Sit!"
同样的，她要它吃食物，她也会用客话喊口令：“Sit(吃)！”
这可把这只聪明的狗搞胡涂了。
每次贵妇要她的狗儿坐静静的时候，狗狗却以为有的吃，就不停的吠吵着要吃。
当贵妇端了一盘食物放在它面前叫它吃的时候，叫它吃，它却坐在原地一动也不敢动。
这客家贵妇感到很呐闷，为何一只聪明的狗会变成这么笨。而这只聪明的狗反而聪明被它的聪明误。

窗口的争议
An Argument Over A Window Frame

三个无聊的傢伙坐在草坪上遥望着对面的洋楼作无谓的对话。
There were three 'good-for-nothing' fellows chatting in the field overlooking the mansion in the neighbourhood.
Looking at the huge window of the mansion they commented.

甲: “那窗口有这么多的十字架，应该被换掉!”
A: " There are so many crosses on that window. It ought to be changed! "

乙：“你傻的! 那不是十字架。是一张张的钞票(长方形)重叠着。你没看到主人家财源广进，楼房越建越高。”
B: " Stupid you! They are not crosses. They are stacks of bank notes ( rectangular in shape). That's why the owner of the mansion is getting richer than before. "

丙：“你们俩人都没错!窗口有十字架也有长方形。十字架保平安。长方形带来财富，所以主人家福贵两双全。”
C: " Both of you are right too! The window frame has the structures of crosses and rectangles. That would ensure the family living in the mansion are bestowed with peace and prosperity. "

单单一个窗口也会引起一场无谓的争论。你还怕世界不会大乱吗？
A simple window frame could result in an unnecessary argument. How could we have world peace if we are a subject of our own thinking, a slave of our own mind?